Joel Ward is hilarious. I am not quite sure when I fully realized this, but I was far too late to that knowledge. I have been following him on Twitter for a long time and he posts some great dry tweets there, but for some reason I had been giving his blog a short shrift, until recently.
A month or so back, while traveling with Ayngelina in Colombia for a few days, we were talking about tweeps and bloggers that we both liked. She went on and on about this “Joel” guy. Since I only knew him as @magicant on Twitter, I just dumbly nodded along and pretended to know what she was talking about.
Men do this often in conversations with women. I am fairly sure this is breaking news to most of my female readers.
His series of posts called “Brain Drops” are some of the funniest tidbits anywhere on the web today. Since I talked him into grouping them into one place on his blog, I feel obliged to give ya’ll a bonus link, so you can get right to them. I cannot wait to meet and travel with him, and since I am being so overwrought in my praise and linking, I think he’s going to have to buy the beers. Balance must be restored somehow.
1. Most overrated country to visit?
Jeez, this is like asking which of my children I like the least. “Oh, they’re all special in their own way.” But if I have to pick, I’d say Japan is the one I’d suspect is the result of a dalliance with the milkman. I found it interesting, but not my cup of tea. To be fair, I never got out of the cities but it was claustrophobic, expensive and I constantly felt like I was on the verge of total sensory overload.
2. If you could travel with one person for one week, then never see or hear from them again in your lifetime, who would you choose?
That’s already happened with some past girlfriends, but let’s not dwell. I would love to travel with Karl Pilkington for a while. As scary as it may be, my thought processes are not dissimilar to his in An Idiot Abroad.
3. Worst current actor or actress?
Will Ferrell. He’s good in niche roles (Elf) or small parts. How in the hell did he get to be a leading man?
4. Book I should go out and buy tomorrow?
The Stand – a good old fashioned “end-of-the-world-good-vs-evil” yarn with fantastic characters and a darkly humorous bent to it. In the aftermath of 99.9% of the population being taken out by a super-virus, another bunch get taken care of by Darwin. Genius.
5. Your favorite foreign word or phrase?
As a diehard fan of Firefly, I love the fact that the show got away with cursing on television by using Chinese. I now refer to bad beer as “Xiong Mao Niao.” (Interviewer’s interjection – here is “The Firefly Dictionary,” for translation purpose).
6. Fill in the blank: the world would be a much better place without ____________.
Religious zealots of all flavors.
7. Most annoying trait of fellow travel bloggers.
Poor grammar and spelling always bother me. There’s a difference between being colloquial or conversational in your blog and just being careless. When I hit a spelling mistake in a blog it stops me in my tracks and I have trouble focusing on the content.
8. Aside from anything to do with writing or travel, what is your dream job?
Lingerie model. I wouldn’t be any good at it, but the perks are amazing.
9. Fill in the blank: I have no idea how __________ got so rich and/or famous with no appreciable talent at all.
Everyone on every reality show ever. And I have started to count CNN as a reality show.
10. You are stranded on a desert island, with supplies and your ever-charged iPod. You can only have five bands/performers on it. Who are your five?
Garfunkel and Oates – two sweet faced young women who sing hysterically funny, off-color songs. Green Day. The Cure. Eminem. Katy Perry, but only if the videos are included.
11. Your favorite alcoholic drink?
Beer has always been my vice of choice. When I drink booze, I get too girly with fruit-based selections. While working as a bartender I did like making Brain Hemorrhage shots (peach schnapps, Bailey’s and grenadine), but only because they looked disgusting. The Bailey’s curdles in the schnapps, taking on the appearance of a brain, with a touch of blood provided by the grenadine.
12. You can be transported to one specific day and location in history — what would it be?
To November 12, 1955, the night of the Enchantment Under The Sea dance so I could seduce Lorraine Baines and prevent Marty from being born. Cuz I’m a jerk.
13. More blanks: My Mom and Dad are never going to read this, so I can now admit I lied to them in a huge way about _______________.