Easily winning the award for the most intentionally “in your face” interview yet in the Lucky 13 series, come meet the incredibly reserved, demure and standoffishly polite Lindsay Hogg. Lindsay and I have had more than a few insult war exchanges on Twitter and I have to say… tread lightly if you take her on. This tiny one has some sharp verbal fangs.
And I think she is hilarious.
Hogga, as she likes to be called whilst you insult her on her meager and pathetic dating life (yea, this isn’t going to be a completely one way post), has a couple things going on right now on the interwebs. Her travel website is The Traveler and she just recently started a site with her cartoons/comics called Chicken Chunk. Go check her stuff out and follow her on Twitter and in the meantime, grab a floatation devise for your safety and enjoy her answers to the Lucky 13:
1. dead historical figure you’d most likely want to hoist a pint with?
Zeus. I would totally tap that. I hear he likes mortals (got it in the bag!). WORD.
2. when is the last time you got sick?
I threw up in February 2011, while visiting my family in Florida. (I know, that much family time can make anyone ill).
3. most disturbing book or movie you’ve read/seen?
I don’t read or watch disturbing movies. Why would I do that? It would just upset me. Where’s the ‘dislike’ button for this question?
4. Fill in the blank: I will go see any movie that _______ is in.
SANTA CLAUSE!!!!! Except the Jim Carey version of The Grinch. That movie made me violently angry. They changed around the whole story line. IT WAS STUPID AND I HATE IT. The original cartoon version is my all time favorite.
5. Most vivid childhood memory.
Riding my tricycle away from my mom. I wasn’t supposed to ride it around the corner, but chose to do so anyway. She came chasing after me, went to grab the back and broke her thumb. BUHA! Try to catch me on my mutha-fking-tricyclie, yo ass get broken biznatch!
6. Worst grade you ever got in school, and in what class?
I failed a class in University. Mostly because I didn’t hand in the final assignment worth 50% of my mark. Oppsie-doodles. I was being a subconscious artist, we’re weird like that sometimes. I would rather have failed than have anyone view this horrid piece of shit art I had produced.
7. Worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard?
“I wanna tickle you down there with my furry beard”
8. My Mom and Dad are never going to read this, so I can now admit I lied to them in a huge way about __________.
I know it may come as a surprise everyone. But…. I’m NOT REALLY A VIRGIN.
Haha, in all seriousness, I don’t really lie about much to the rents. Maybe when I was younger, sneaking my boyfriend in late or stealing their booze. Like they didn’t notice half a bottle of rum missing or that I was stoned when I came home from ‘hanging out at the park’… pffft please!
9. John, Paul, George or Ringo. Choose.
10. Who is your favorite fat person?
Do do doooo… Oh look, something shiny! What were you saying? Something about fat people? BORED. I don’t know the answer to this question… ‘What is Texas’
11. Travel book you most wish you’d “lived through.”
Why would you ask me this question? You know I don’t read books.
I will change this question to “11. Would you rather have super strength or super intelligence?”
Super strength obviously! Then I could just beat up the smart people… wait, that’s what I do already. STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!
13. What question do you most fear from St. Peter at the Pearly Gates?
“What’s the secret password?”
Ahhh shit, uhhhh I forgot to write it down… what was it again?
Fluffy Bunny, wait no… ummm… The Fat Man Stands Alone…???? Seriously dude, can you please just let me in? It took, like, FOREVER to get here and I’m really tired, I need a nap.