from the Facebook craze last year — for those that weren’t Facebook friends with me back then.
(1) I have two absolute travel necessities: iPod and fingernail clippers. I abso-fucking-lutely cannot stand having almost any white fingernail existing on me at any time.
(2) Until my recent sailboat trip (promise the blog is coming), the last time I threw up was 23 years ago. Freshman year in college. Tequila. Still can’t drink it to this day — actually can’t even smell it — the smell makes me wretch. Oddly, can’t drink Scotch either, because to my nose, it smells too much like tequila.
(3) I judge a true best friend by one (admittedly extravagant) criteria: would they do anything for me if I was in serious trouble. I have three people that I feel 100% confident would answer my phone call of “I’m in big, big trouble — need $10,000 — and a flight out of the country” by simply answering “where do I wire the money to?”. . . . . and I’d do the same for any of them and not need to know why.
(4) I have six ex-girlfriends. And I’m still friends will all of them. They are the 1st people I call, when I screw up with the next woman — as inevitably happens. Invariably their answer to my call of woe is “seriously. . . you’ve been screwing up the same exact way for X years.”
(5) I have a constant jukebox in my head. And by constant, I really do mean about 100% of the time, some song is playing in my head. Its usually the last song I’ve heard, but it can also pop up from conversations. You say something like, “need to find a hotel” and my brain might flip over to Hotel California. . . for 5 hours straight. Its annoying and I don’t like it. And I also tend to break out and start singing whatever is up there. Randomly.
(6) I can remember every gas station and fast food restaurant just off a highway that I’ve ever stopped at before. Most every time I pass an exit where I have pulled off sometime in the past, I think to myself, “I’ve bought gas at that Exxon station before.” For the same reason, on routes I travel a lot (Fayetteville to Little Rock, for example), I always try to stop at the same places everytime — so I have that thought pop into my head as infrequently as possible.
(7) The first song I ever remember hearing was “Renegade” by Styx. In Florida. At a friend’s house, whose name I cannot remember. Still like the song today.
(8) I have been in 46 of the 50 states. The omissions are Alaska, Vermont, North Dakota, and Arizona. How the hell I have missed Arizona is still a mystery to me.
(9) I had the only black lab I’ve ever known that was afraid of the water. He would not swim. He was the greatest dog in the world, lived to be 15 years old, and putting him down was perhaps the toughest decision yet in my life. And I should have done it a year earlier.
(10) I have answered the “how can you represent someone you know is guilty” question about 742 times. But it still doesn’t bother me to get asked and explain it all again.
(11) I smoke 5-10 cigars a week. I have never taken a single puff of a cigarette in my life.
(12) I have never used any illegal drug. Don’t even like taking pain killers, when prescribed.
(13) I love old, wind-up watches.
(14) I still own my very first car, a 1967 red Mustang.
(15) I built a bocce court in my backyard. My backyard is 80 feet by 25 feet. The court is 60 feet by 10 feet.
(16) I take one month off from drinking every year, usually January.
(17) I’ve never ridden on a roller coaster. Or eaten peanut butter (I hate the smell). Even when I was a small child. Apparently, I’m anti-American.
(18) I have a horrible, horrible memory for names. It pisses me off, because I find it very disrespectful. My friends know that if I don’t introduce them to someone that walks up to me in the 1st five seconds, that they should stick out there hand and introduce themselves, because I’ve forgotten the name.
(19) I didn’t go to law school earlier, because so many people told me that I should.
(20) I got a 7 minute not-guilty verdict from a jury in a criminal drug trial where my guy had confessed. The trial was something out of a Boston Legal script.
(21) I have watched Casablanca more than 100 times. Every line in that movie works perfectly and its one of the funniest movies of all time (go re-watch it and listen for the comic lines. . . “I’m shocked, shocked there is gambling going on in this establishment.” “Your winnings, sir” “Well thank you.”)
(22) I never tie the laces on my tennis shoes, unless I’m doing something athletic. I’ve gotten more comments from strangers about my shoes being untied than anything else in my life. By a factor of about 500.
(23) The first funeral I went to was my maternal grandfather’s. I gave the eulogy. I didn’t know I was going to be asked to do so until the night before. I stayed up all night writing it.
(24) On that topic, I take wedding and rehearsal toasts very, very seriously. One thing that pisses me off to no end are crappy toasts from people at those events.
(25) I only celebrate my prime number birthdays (though I got taunted into throwing a 40th birthday party and drinking much excellent wine).
and one bonus, for my mother:
I can be incredibly stubborn. I slept in a sleeping bag on top of my made bed for about two years when I was 8 or so, because my mother wanted me to make my bed every morning before going to school. I slept in the sleeping bag and then threw the bag in the closet– and had the made bed there underneath. My mother cooked fried liver once a year and wanted us all to eat it. I hated the smell and texture. So when I was about 6 or so, she cooked it up for us, put it on my plate, I ate one bite and forced myself to throw up at the table. We never ate liver again for dinner. In high school, I got grounded for an entire summer vacation (junior year). In retaliation, aside from going to work everyday, I never left my room, except to eat dinner, and never said anything to my parents except “yes” and “no” to answer direct questions. My father thought the whole thing was quite a relaxing relief, but my mother broke down after about a month and rescinded my grounding.