In a variety of places in the Third World (plus China and some others), you can buy pirated DVDs for amazingly cheap prices. In Kenya, I found some DVDs of the Boston Legal TV series, where the covers made me chuckle.
I was walking through a market in Colombia a few months back when I saw some pirated DVDs on display. I took a photo of one of them, because I thought it was a joke movie that hadn’t even been made, Titanic II.
Turns out the joke is even better than that. Titanic II actually is a real movie. It was released straight to DVD in 2010.
This might be the worst movie of all time… too be clear, I will never see this movie, but just going on the plot summary from Wikipedia, this might very well be the worst movie ever.
In April 2012, 100 years after the sinking of the RMS Titanic, a new, similar-looking luxury cruise liner named the SS Titanic II is christened. She then embarks on her maiden voyage using the same route the Titanic took 100 years before in reverse direction (United States to United Kingdom).
During the Atlantic crossing, the effects of Global Warming cause the Helheim glacier in Greenland to collapse, creating a tsunami that sends an iceberg crashing into the Titanic II. The entire starboard side of the ship is crushed and immense pressure is put on the liner’s turbines. As people struggle against the rising waters and run for the submarine-shaped lifeboats, the turbines eventually explode, causing an immense fire inside the listing and sinking vessel.
Hours later, another tsunami caused by a second collapse of the Helheim glacier hits the liner, flipping it upside-down and drowning the people still on board and killing the passengers in the lifeboats. With most of the ship flooded, the Titanic II finally sinks.
The two main protagonists, ship owner Hayden Walsh and nurse Amy Maine, survive, having stayed aboard the ship instead of going for the lifeboats as Amy’s father, U.S. Coast Guard Captain James Maine, had ordered. However, the ship’s diving facility only has one oxygen tank, which Hayden gives to Amy. Captain Maine rescues them both, but Hayden dies, leaving Amy and a few passengers who got off the ship on Hayden’s helicopter earlier as the only survivors of the disaster.
It virtually has to be classically horrible!
I can hardly tell you how much I like truly poor television and movies…. at least to make fun of. So I am sitting here looking at this Wikipedia summary of the movie and, needless to say, I don’t recognize any of the actors names in this magnificent production. So I pulled up the lead actor’s profile on IMDB.
Here is a list of the last half-dozen movies he has appeared in — Murder 101: New Age, Shark Swim, Transformers: Transmorphers: Fall of Man, Paranormal Entity, 6 Guns and the to-be-released in 2011 classic… Super Shark.
Given those titles, Titanic II might not only NOT be the worst movie of all-time, it might not be the worst movie this particular actor has been in…. or even the 2nd or 3rd worst.
What is the worst movie you have ever seen?