On the eve of me getting back on the road — and being pretty damn excited about it — thought it would be a good time to highlight some of the things that I find not-so-great out there on the road, since most of my friends seem to think most everything is wine and roses out there.
(1) Widow Makers. You don’t run into these too often, but the name pretty much describes the experience. You are looking at a shower head in Central America. The warm water is provided by a basic electrical coil contained in the shower head. Yes — electricity plus water. I think I got a C- in high school physics, but I feel pretty sure that this is not a combination that you should feel overly confident about. As a result, though I don’t remotely believe it, cold showers are actually better for you.
(2) Visas. Hell, just border agents in general. As an American, I should be the last person complaining about visas and border crossings, because frankly, entering my 
country is the worst. The worst. So every time I have a problem at a border or have to pay $100 to get into a country, I take a few deep breaths and say to myself, “it’s worse for them to come into my country.” Then I get pissed off anyway.
(3) Loud and rude people in dorm rooms. I wrote an entire blog about the hostel/dorm rules, so I won’t go over them all again, save to highlight one of them: we are all sleeping in here. It is 3:30 a.m. I’m glad you had a great night out, but please try to show some respect when you crawl your drunk ass back into the dorm room. Just be prepared for me to exact my revenge if you violate the rules.
(4) Know-it-All’s. Happens at home also, but the road variation is the person that keeps one-upping your trip stories or craps on your future travel plans. “Well, if you want to go to Cuzco, that’s fine, but if you want a real taste of Inca culture, instead of that touristic garbage, you should go to…..”
(5) Abject poverty. Don’t want to make this one controversial, so let me preface it by explaining one of my philosophies that I’ve come to have as a core belief because of travel: we are all (at least those reading this, most likely) just damn fricking lucky. Our souls just happened to pop out in the United States or Canada or Western Europe or Australia — at least that is where almost all my readers are from. There wasn’t anything to account for that other than dumb luck. Given the population disbursement around the world, we were all many times more likely to be born in a 3rd world country, in abject poverty, with a crappy government and infrastructure, poor schooling opportunities, and little chance of moving up the ladder. We all ought to wake up every morning and just thank the big He/She/It in the sky that we were all lucky enough to arrive where we did.
That being said, what gets to me on the road is how many people are born without those possibilities. How many Einsteins or Churchills or Hemingways or Hawkings have been born out there and just withered away, because they had no access to education, infrastructure, and resources to develop their talents?? The mental resources that we waste as a planet just depress me. As do the direct effects of poverty — deforestation, environmental problems, short life spans, crime, mistreatment of women. Arrrrrggggggg.
To be clear — and to hopefully avoid lots of negative comments — I’m not saying that people in the 3rd world can’t lead happy and productive lives. Some of the happiest people I’ve seen on the planet are poor as dirt. On many days, I wish I was as happy as the kid playing with the stick and the tire on the side of the road…. but I’d also like him/her to have the opportunity, if they want to take it, to get educated, acquire some basic necessities, and perhaps change the world for the better. Related to this is dealing with begging in the Third World.
(6) Getting ripped off. On the opposite end of the scale, I can’t stand getting ripped off, even it it is just for a couple bucks. It isn’t the money — clearly, paying $3 for something that locals pay $1 for isn’t that big a deal (and might actually help issue #5 in a small way), but I think it is the attendant implication of my stupidity that bothers me. Yes, I realize that you are ripping me off, Mr. Shop Owner. Not all tourists are blissfully ignorant rubes, there for you to pluck like ripe fruit off a tree.
And what REALLY annoys me on this front is when I get quoted a price for something that is eight or ten times the proper price. Look — I expect that you are going to quote me double. That’s fine. When I’m in a patient mood, a little bargaining is part of the fun of travel. But don’t jack up the price to ten times normal, and then when I laugh at you, cut the price down by 80% to get to what should have been your starting price. I refuse to even bargain with you, seeing as you just basically told me, via your price, that I’m the dumbest person you’ve ever seen. Piss off.
(7) Cab Drivers. A specialized subset of #6. I have a true hate/love relationship with cabbies. I despise 90% of them and want to line them all up against a wall and pull a scene from a Quentin Tarantino movie on them, but then one of them completely and totally saves my ass and I mentally reprieve them all. Then the vicious cycle just starts up again.
(8) The price of books. This literally amazed me. Books are ABSURDLY expensive throughout the world. I’m not talking the expense of buying and English language book in the middle of non-English speaking countries here — I expected those prices would be high. I’m talking about the prices of English books in countries like Australia and New Zealand. Or of Spanish books in South America (not that I could read them anyway). Stunned me. Well, except for SE Asia, where you can buy illegally photocopied books at cheap prices. Then again, you can buy about any intellectual property there at pirate rates.
(9) Everyone speaks more languages than me. I’m an American, which basically means I speak English. That’s it. I’m not banging on my country here — there are some good reasons we don’t speak foreign languages here — the primary one being that the US is damn big and English is the language throughout. If I had clients in Texas and they spoke a different language there (like most Europeans find, when they go 300 miles to do business with someone), I’m sure I’d have a lot better language skills.
(10) The search for a good cup of coffee. You wouldn’t think this would be that difficult a task, but ‘o my, it can be. Even in some of the best coffee producing countries in the world (Panama and Colombia off the top of my head), it is tough to find a good cup of Joe. Most countries export their good coffee to…. the US, Japan and Western Europe. Pretty much around the world, you are going to be drinking instant coffee most mornings. I hate instant coffee.
Instant coffee verses cabbies. Now there is a battle that I might pay to see.
That being said, damn do I feel inferior when I’m traveling and run across pretty much anyone, seeing as most other travelers speak three or four languages. If I could wave a wand and have any knowledge immediately implanted in my head, it would be the full working knowledge of a couple of foreign languages.
Hmmmmmm. I know I’ve got a lot more of these small and large pet peeves, but can’t think of any more off the top of my head. Then again, I’d love to hear your contributions — what is not-so-great on the road in your eyes, fellow travelers?
I will definitely be posting something similar!
I will definitely be posting something similar!
I had a break down a few days ago and wrote a similar post that's coming soon although I didn't have your even temperament 🙂
All I've seen in Colombia so far are the widow makers, are you ready to welcome them back?
I had a break down a few days ago and wrote a similar post that's coming soon although I didn't have your even temperament :)All I've seen in Colombia so far are the widow makers, are you ready to welcome them back?
Other travelers who don't seem the least bit interested in meeting new people — to the point that they won't even make eye contact with you. I swear some days I feel like it's high school all over again! (Umm… not that I wasn't wildly popular in high school). Oh, and I hate that I can't just take a couple days off from traveling and just go home & sit on my couch and recuperate a bit until I have the strength to start it all over again… (that is if I HAD a couch).P.S. What's the deal? Your posts are so SHORT these days. I'm kicking out out of our Way Long Blog Club!
Other travelers who don't seem the least bit interested in meeting new people — to the point that they won't even make eye contact with you. I swear some days I feel like it's high school all over again! (Umm… not that I wasn't wildly popular in high school).
Oh, and I hate that I can't just take a couple days off from traveling and just go home & sit on my couch and recuperate a bit until I have the strength to start it all over again… (that is if I HAD a couch).
P.S. What's the deal? Your posts are so SHORT these days. I'm kicking out out of our Way Long Blog Club!
LOL — trying this shorter post thing. I hear that people may actually READ them, if I make them a little less verbose 😉
LOL — trying this shorter post thing. I hear that people may actually READ them, if I make them a little less verbose 😉
Ha! I definitely feel ya on #9 (especially in Europe) and #3 but I have to add my #1 to all of these – FLYING. 🙂
Ha! I definitely feel ya on #9 (especially in Europe) and #3 but I have to add my #1 to all of these – FLYING. 🙂
Hilarious and well done. I agree with all of yours, especially the language one. I feel like such a moron sometimes, and I urge all younger Americans to pay attention and actually care in high school Spanish classes. What I would give to fluently speak a few languages. Then you meet a Dutch person, who seems to speak all the languages, and it makes me feel even less inferior.
Hilarious and well done. I agree with all of yours, especially the language one. I feel like such a moron sometimes, and I urge all younger Americans to pay attention and actually care in high school Spanish classes. What I would give to fluently speak a few languages. Then you meet a Dutch person, who seems to speak all the languages, and it makes me feel even less inferior.
thanks Adam. But I'll say this for the Dutch — have yet to meet one I don't like. Pretty much the same for the Kiwis and Ozzies. And they can all drink me under the table!
thanks Adam. But I'll say this for the Dutch — have yet to meet one I don't like. Pretty much the same for the Kiwis and Ozzies. And they can all drink me under the table!
Totally with you on #1. Every shower I've taken underneath one, I've stood half in and half out the entire time. Which is, of course, stupid, but it makes me feel (moderately) better.
Totally with you on #1. Every shower I've taken underneath one, I've stood half in and half out the entire time. Which is, of course, stupid, but it makes me feel (moderately) better.
I think you have covered most bases. I'd like to add illness when you experiment with dodgy food though!
I think you have covered most bases. I'd like to add illness when you experiment with dodgy food though!
I gotta agree with most of them, though I haven't run into these 'widow makers' quite yet. I've also been fortunate enough to steer clear of the type of dorms where people come in @ 3:30am all noisy, so far…I don't drink coffee so no biggie for me!
I gotta agree with most of them, though I haven't run into these 'widow makers' quite yet. I've also been fortunate enough to steer clear of the type of dorms where people come in @ 3:30am all noisy, so far…
I don't drink coffee so no biggie for me!
Good thing I don't hanker for coffee, otherwise that would annoy me. There's a misconception that travel is hunky dory all the time, but I will say this – there's a freedom to it that you will never find in any office. 🙂
Good thing I don't hanker for coffee, otherwise that would annoy me. There's a misconception that travel is hunky dory all the time, but I will say this – there's a freedom to it that you will never find in any office. 🙂
Agreed–I don't know about "widow makers" but showers in Europe never have the showerhead attached to the wall. So annoying.
And can I add absurdly long layovers to the list? And train delays?
Agreed–I don't know about "widow makers" but showers in Europe never have the showerhead attached to the wall. So annoying.And can I add absurdly long layovers to the list? And train delays?
This might fall in the know-it-all category, but I hate the haters. People who say, "I hate America!" or "I hate France!" or something equally ridiculous. Doubly so when I find out they've never been to the country they supposedly hate. With all the nuances and magic a nation can have, how can someone POSSIBLY hate the entire place? It infuriates me. Grrrrr!
This might fall in the know-it-all category, but I hate the haters. People who say, "I hate America!" or "I hate France!" or something equally ridiculous. Doubly so when I find out they've never been to the country they supposedly hate.
With all the nuances and magic a nation can have, how can someone POSSIBLY hate the entire place? It infuriates me. Grrrrr!
thanks everyone — again — for all the comments.Christine, agree on the delays. Haven't flown in about 2 years, so not sure about layovers, but since I'm getting on a plane in a few days — am sure you just jinxed me. ;)And the haters…. yes, they can all go to… well, that ain't nice, is it??
thanks everyone — again — for all the comments.
Christine, agree on the delays. Haven't flown in about 2 years, so not sure about layovers, but since I'm getting on a plane in a few days — am sure you just jinxed me. 😉
And the haters…. yes, they can all go to… well, that ain't nice, is it??
#5 – You have America.. and then you have the “real world”. When you return home, you feel like you’re in a dream.. suddenly impressed with running water 24/7, smooth roads, clean air and the mega- grocery stores.
Other American travelers who don’t know how to behave as guests in foreign countries! They give the rest of us who are conscientious, polite, make an effort to speak the local language, try local food, etc. the mostly-deserved bad reputation as “ugly Americans.” Also, the stigma associated with the really bad policies or actions taken by our government in the name of defending our country’s freedom, political system, or quest for oil. Sometimes, when I travel abroad, I don’t want to admit I’m from the U.S.; sometimes I’m afraid to. I hate that.
Agree with you 100% Terry, but for what it is worth, I have found the objectionable Americans are mostly confined to the rich ones. For some reason, they tend to think that everything, everywhere should be just like it is back home. Most of the backpackers I have run into (though there aren´t too many) have been a lot more understanding and considerate of local cultures, in my experience.
At first, I was scared that people from other countries, esp. those at odds with the U.S., would react negatively when I told them I was American, but then I found that even when the people to whom I was talking hated the U.S. government, they still liked me. All of the people with whom I’ve interacted had no problem in separating the government from its citizens.
Showers, cabbies, and expensive books are high on my list too 🙂 I just bought a kindle, I’m hoping I’ve solved that one. 🙂
I love my Kindle, just be very, very careful with it. I had mine in my case the whole time and it has broken down twice. First time because there was too much pressure on the screen and it screwed up. And then, right before this trip, the button gave out for no good reason. They are great about warranty replacements, but that is tough on the road. It is a great travel resource (the free internet browsing is great also for checking email and such free), but be super careful with it.
Great post, and agree with them all (and have blogged on much of it myself!) – especially the loud people!
The one thing I’d add is people who won’t even TRY the local food. We met a seemingly normal and intelligent pair of Irish girls who had eaten nothing but eggs for two weeks. We also came across an English woman in a nice Cambodian restaurant, who ordered a chocolate crepe for her main. We’ve lost count of the number of fantastic local dishes passed up by Westerners eating sandwiches and burgers.
As a Brit, I have to mention the inablity to form a queue. At best they act like you’re invisible, at worst, they bodily move you aside!
Finally, the widow maker is bested by wearing rubber soled flip-flops/thongs in the shower (or so I’m told by my wife ;-)).
Great post. You’ve covered pretty much of what I would say I don’t like about travel. I don’t particularly enjoy the airport (or flying experience if it’s with a low cost airline) because you spend so much time hanging around with very little to entertain you.
Darren, give all your experience with travel and the fact that you are the best “travel ranter” around today, it is a big compliment that you liked this post. Thanks!
The widow maker is hilarious.
I understand your point about poverty in poor countries. I’m not one of the person that happened to pop in super country. Even with that, as a kid, I often felt lucky already, of not popping in the worse ones. Some people (or many?) I know from the good countries doesn’t seem to realized that it’s just by luck their soul was born into a good environment.
About language, there were times that I wish to be born with language that is more compatible in the world, not just in my country. I’m struggling a lot learning English. Many people out there struggles a lot for their second or third languages, except those bilingual since childhood ones. But I understand, without the aspect “you have to speak it otherwise your community/clients won’t understand you”, learning new language will have lack of motivation.
Struggling to make my English better every single day, I still have people laughing at my English (some of them are best friends and family members, to the points it gets to much, to the point they don’t care what I was going to say, just care about laughing at it). The funny thing is, they don’t realize it’s just dumb luck for them to be born in English speaking environment that happen to be most international language, and at least I can speak their language, they can’t speak mine (or any other than their 1 language).
Love this post – it’s obvious we think a lot a like. And you’re right, I absolutely hate US immigration. The one at Dulles in particular used to take hours and was just a total nightmare.
I have lots of experience with the widow makers, although my term of affection for them (stolen from a friend) is “suicide shower.” In their defense I will say a good quality one, installed properly, actually can work really well.
Love it! The widow maker is now my permanent shower head as I am living in Costa Rica (US expat). I like to affectionately think of them as generous donors of free shock therapy. Who needs a trip to the mental hospital when you can just hop in the shower and grab on to the shower head?! 😉
…I’m glad I found your blog, I love your style of writing. *subscribe* 🙂
permanent? That would scare the heck out of me!
I feel you about the visa. I really do. I have an Indonesian passport and live in the US. So not only is it very hard for me to travel anywhere (I’ve given up scanning that list of ‘Countries exempt from visa requirements’ because Indonesia is NEVER on the list), but I get the royal treatment coming to the US too.
One thing that annoys me is being judged based on the country I’m coming from. Yes, I live in Romania, yes, we have a fair share of rotten apples that make the country look bad, yes, often times I’m ashamed to be a citizen of this country and wished I lived somewhere else, but these are my issues, there’s no need in pointing that out. I’ve had these problems in Turkey at a jewelry store where the attendant lost her smile and walked out on me when she found out where I was coming from, and another occasion in Israel, at the airport where they asked me to stay separately from my group (which was Russian). It gets frustrating to lie about where you are coming from just to avoid the stares and the drop in services simply because you are born in a country with somewhat bad reputation.
And one other thing that makes me mad, happened in Italy – they don’t speak English…seriously, it’s an international language…I’m pretty sure they don’t WANT to understand it, but if you tell them to ef-off I’m certain they would reply!
ahhhh, if you think it is bad to be judged by where you are from — try being from the United States 😉
but seriously, thanks for you comments. Romania is actually one of the countries that I most look forward to visiting soon. I hear it is great.
Don’t like getting ripped off or treated different because I’m a tourist. I hate the fact that taxis, hotels and tourist spots feel the need to charge more and justify it with the attitude of “they’ve got money, they’re tourists”.
I also don’t like waiting. I am an impatient person by nature, so waiting at airports and train stations drives me crazy!
Great post! It also get annoyed when people travel and expect everything to be like it is at home, or they think the whole world should speak English so they can cater to them.
The set ups where the shower is the entire bathroom drive me nuts. The ones where the shower water goes all over the sink, toilet and floor. They often stink and the water never completely drains from the floor. You have to remove everything from the room each time you want to shower.
Great insights, in general just being lied to/mislead so often bothers and bores me. Recently a tout said, hey you know you’re going to get ripped here so why not let me do it. Really appreciated the candor and humour.
Definitely agree with 4,5,6,7,9. 8 is solved with my Kindle. 10, I love coffee too but I guess that’s personal taste. Apart from the West Coast, I found American coffee just average. But I do prefer french press and espresso to filter!
Re: #5 (abject poverty). You have a reader now who is from the third world country. What you guys go through in your travels in India is what we go through everyday – we feel how lucky we are that our souls happen to pop out in the “affluent” part of the country. The only reason I dont thank the big He/She in the sky everyday is because I am an atheist :)…
Great post. Its refreshing to a list that is a bit different from the norm 🙂
ha! One of the showers I had the privilege of using in Rio Clara, Columbia was a PVC pipe that came out of the wall and the water was straight from the freezing cold river. Since then I have been ever so grateful for a warm shower.
I haven’t even started traveling and already discovered the evil that are visas especially for people without an American/Canadian/ European passport. Being able to purchase a visa at the border sounds like a dream to me (except for the $100 haha).
I am right there with you on #10. I normally just bring my own TAZO green tea with me. You can’t mess up tea, but there is some dreadful coffee in this world.